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NOTICE: Please Keep Gaiscioch Family Friendly

Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
Foghladha
Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
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Posted On: 09/27/2011 at 10:26 PM
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Hey Everyone,
I've had a whole slew of people come to me and ask for us to tighten the ropes on "Guild Chat" and vent banter. I want to take a moment to remind everyone, both Guardian Side, and Defiant that Gaiscioch Vent & Guild Chat should be Family Friendly at all times

I have created channels in vent where you can let your inner vulgar go but I ask that you keep it limited to those channels only. I know it's hard sometimes but it is VERY important that we keep our home safe for parents to play with their teens, kids, or siblings.

Graphic, Innuendo, or even illusive chat should be refrained from. I've had quite a few parents come to me and voice concerns over the past week and I want to make sure our stance on this is clear.

The Gaiscioch FAMILY has always been "Family Friendly", Please keep it that way.

Thank you.

Foghladha

» Edited on: 2012-08-23 14:57:27

"It's not the loot and accolades you walk away with, it's the memories and friendships that you cherish forever." - Foghladha
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Curadh de na Faolchu
Lumenbarba
Curadh de na Faolchu
Replied On: 09/28/2011 at 08:33 AM PDT

Also please realise that there are people from all over the world. The problem I have had in the past with the "refrain before 9PM" is that there are some who just constantly turn it on. There is no call for guild chat to completely degenerate after 9. I appreciate that it doesn't bother everyone, and I don't mind the occasional comment, but I've added more than one person to ignore because I really couldn't stand to read any more of their commentary. Try not to keep guild chat in the gutter just because one person makes a funny remark. Also remember there are likely all sorts of races, professions, political persuasions, lifestyles and religions amongst guild members that aren't readily apparent. Don't throw random abuse at groups of people, and try to avoid humour that uses groups of people as punchlines or insultd (often passionate) beliefs. At best you are upsetting people, at worst you can end up very quickly with a most unpleasant conversation going on.

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Ban Caomhnoir de na Iomproidh Oráiste
Sea
Ban Caomhnoir de na Iomproidh Oráiste
  • GW2: Pam MacDonald.3481
Replied On: 09/28/2011 at 08:41 AM PDT
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I have to admit that the refrain before 9 pm could be different times for all. If we just remember to keep things to the four letter word .. LOVE HELP CARE JUST KIND we would all be better off. And I have been know as Mrs. Brady in other guilds when I have accidently said shit or something simliar my guildmates have been shocked.. I have grouped with 8 year olds before gaming and being a grandmother and mother .. there is not a real need to get off color in game there is enough of that in real life. And yes please be aware others persuasion might not be the same as ours .. this is a game and real life junk doesnt really belong... I know there is a place in vent for those that feel the need for Adult conversation and that is where it should stay. Thanks Fog for again being the leader that you are :)

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Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
Foghladha
Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
  • GW2: Foghladha.2506
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Replied On: 09/28/2011 at 08:52 AM PDT
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That is 9PM Server Time, I set it this way because Americans historically are the most context sensitive people I've run across. No offense but we are. By 9PM Pacific most of the Kids should be in bed and it essentially becomes adult swim. Does this mean you should fly off the handle and spew all sorts of ugliness out over guild chat. No. This just means you can stop pretending your standing in the middle of a kindergarten class and go out for a pint with a few friends. I want ask that you still keep it respectful and mature. Try to keep it clean and representative of the Gaiscioch way. On a side note, please realize that some phrases people use in different parts of the world are not ment to be derogatory. If a british guy says I'm going to go smoke a fag, trust me hes not talking about a homosexual. We've had a lot of East coast terms offend west coasters, and southern slang offend northerers, etc. The language is different in different places and I assure you nobody is deliberately trying to offend. Be aware our family reaches to all ends of the earth and we will find some rather strange verbiage occasionally. Try not to get offended until you know what they mean. If then you feel offended come talk to me or a draio. Blowing up in chat doesn't help anyone. As I said before, people don't listen once you punch them in the face. As soon as you attack, the conversation is over. Regardless of what you have to say it will not be heard. Approach it with patience and calm and you might find a resolution. Be the person you want others to be, and just like the way we recruit, if they like what they see they will join you.

» Edited on: 2011-09-28 08:58:09

"It's not the loot and accolades you walk away with, it's the memories and friendships that you cherish forever." - Foghladha
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Banlaoch de na Griobhta Dearg
Briseadh
Banlaoch de na Griobhta Dearg
  • GW2: Briseadh.7386
Replied On: 09/28/2011 at 09:24 AM PDT
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I would like to add to Fog's note above. If you are uncertain about what someone said and have issues with it, the first thing to do is very politely ask that person in a tell privately what they meant. If on vent, either try to get it from the context of how others react or again very politely simply ask what they really meant. I've learned a lot of lingo this way. And personally, even if I might chuckle at some of the silly innuendo that happens or add a comment that hopefully isn't too off, I rather go for rated G. There really is no need for it. I used to be pretty crude myself and could make guys who thought they had the lime light on dirty jokes blush and shut up. I really didn't like myself then and find rated G is just fine in a life that rides like a rollercoaster without the help of adding any type of vulgarity. Here's another thing I've noticed with the family. We are a huge family. There will usually be someone to help, but don't get all wigged out if you feel ignored. For one, maybe people are afk, alt-tabbed out of the game to check some info to help with the game, or so busy in a fight they can't answer right away. I wanted to answer someone the other day when on as Briseadh, but was questing in a spot where I had to keep slamming my hot keys to live I was not able to type in chat. Next thing I know, a few minutes later, the person is back on an alt swearing and carring on like a lunatic because they think we are selfish and unhelpful. I actually deleted what I was going to say in wanting to help because they flew off the handle so fast. I still have my filter on so if I see **** in every line you type, I'm going to be upset with you having to resort to such stuff. I'll change my tune and not help. For the most part I think this person wound up truly ignored that time when before they probably did not get ignored, just missed in chat spam ofr any of the other reasons people could miss chat. Such things do not help the family. We need to properly learn to respect others, refrain ourselves when we know it can offend someone even if that is not the intention, and learn to have a HUGE amount of patience. Dealing with people takes respect and patience. Not all agree or will understand where we are coming from, but I love differences. Differences makes us stronger if we know where they fit in the puzzle that makes us a family and a team. Okay, I never seem to say anything in short order, but this has been bothering me all week, too, and even if none of it was directly at me on a one on one individual deal, it hurt the family so my mama bear instinct came out. =) The guilds I was an officer and then leader of for a while in Warhammer joked about this. I love this family and as I've said several times now, I'm glad I was able to reunite with them here in Rift. Messing with this family is like messing with a cub when mama bear is obviously watching you. ;)

Don't mess with Mama Bear, I might hug you too tight. =D
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Caomhnoir de na Capall Gorm
Aeos
Caomhnoir de na Capall Gorm
Replied On: 09/28/2011 at 02:51 PM PDT

/read, acknowledged, understood... =D "lean do chroi"

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Fili de na Arach Dearg
Donaliam
Fili de na Arach Dearg
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Replied On: 09/30/2011 at 12:21 PM PDT
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post now stickied

"Try Not. Do or Do Not, there is no try. " Yoda, Jedi Master
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Curadh de na Sailetheach
Gaelan
Curadh de na Sailetheach
Replied On: 10/04/2011 at 04:08 PM PDT

Read and support. I believe a lot of conversations/rages should be carried on in private tell as opposed to open chat. I have yet to put a guildie on ignore and would certainly refrain from doing so, permanently. I also sadly admit that when raging starts my ignore button get's active. I heartily support family and believe in mentoring our youth at all times, especially in game play by example. Life and gaming should be fun not a 'slap in the face' and personal ego's are so fragile. I believe in patience and heartily support the reviews above.

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Caomhnoir de na Fhiaigh Corcra
Hex
Caomhnoir de na Fhiaigh Corcra
Replied On: 10/05/2011 at 06:25 PM PDT

I swear. I make no apology for it. That is why Fog made me a vent channel. I don't do it in guildchat, but I do it in vent when raiding 10s or in small groups. That will not ever change. In my country, swearing is normal other than the 'c' word. I want the freedom to relax with my friends and not be subject to the intolerances of other ppl! /agree on the guild and raidchat though :)

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Ban Fili de na Fhiaigh Gorm
Berga
Ban Fili de na Fhiaigh Gorm
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Replied On: 10/25/2011 at 07:33 AM PDT
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/read and understood, a question though: What about server wide chat like zone and level chat? I'd like to get a ruling for these, too. Seen some guild member getting wound up by trolls and then starting to throw insults and I don't like it. (Do we have a set of guidelines what is appropriate behavior in public and what is not?) new macro: g A friendly reminder: Vent & Guild Chat should be Family Friendly until after 9PM Pacific. Please refrain from graphic, innuendo, or even allusive chat.

» Edited on: 2011-10-25 08:01:27

» Edited on: 2011-10-25 13:35:34

I quit Rift three days before Gaiscioch returned there. Must have fumbled my luck roll.
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Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
Foghladha
Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
  • GW2: Foghladha.2506
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Replied On: 10/25/2011 at 09:26 AM PDT
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Berga, That falls under the whole "What you do effects all of us" that is outlined in our credo. If Gaiscioch act out in public channel send them a PM and ask nicely to tone it down a bit. One person, effects all of us when it comes to PR. What you say and do is what we say and do. As long as people keep in mind that "I don't care what they think about me", really means "I don't care what they think about the Gaiscioch", We'll be good. Your not alone when your with us. You're with us. Therefor you are a representative of the "Gaiscioch Way".

"It's not the loot and accolades you walk away with, it's the memories and friendships that you cherish forever." - Foghladha
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Lorgaire
ReapestLife
Lorgaire
Replied On: 10/25/2011 at 10:40 AM PDT

Understood. Thanks for having an envirmonet like this.

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Ridire de na Capall Buí
Averian
Ridire de na Capall Buí
  • GW2: othahjr.9768
Replied On: 10/25/2011 at 03:06 PM PDT
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Read, Acknowledged, Understood, Support.

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Lorgaire
Androssis
Lorgaire
Replied On: 10/25/2011 at 03:31 PM PDT

Read, acknowledged, and understood!

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Caomhnoir de na Fhiaigh Corcra
DufRaven
Caomhnoir de na Fhiaigh Corcra
Replied On: 03/27/2012 at 09:43 AM PDT

I am a jokster and try to keep it clean though. In vent I'll admit in frusttation have slipped but always apologized. I try to police others when the topic becomes one of the general frowned upon subjects in vent or in chat. I am under the assumption that a groups channel in a vent chat channel is based on what the raid leader specied. I will agree though some chat does not belong after 9 either in open chat channels ie religion, politics, graphic sex or hate or insensitive talk.

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Ban Curadh de na Faolchu Oráiste
Thaelinara
Ban Curadh de na Faolchu Oráiste
Replied On: 04/13/2012 at 03:31 PM PDT
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bump for all our new folks

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Ban Curadh de na Faolchu Donn
Ezsme
Ban Curadh de na Faolchu Donn
  • ESO: @Ezsme
Replied On: 02/21/2014 at 06:05 AM PST

I have to admit, the thing that made me want to join the Gaiscioch family the most was while watching the ESO PvP video y'all posted, I heard the raid leader say, "Watch your language."

I was tired of "adult" guild meaning "cuss like a sailor (no offense to sailors) and brag about your drinking and illicit drug usage."

My kids love to watch me play and listen to the chatter and even chime in once in a while--plus my headphones hurt my head--and I was never able to let them participate in that way.  Now I can.

Huzzah!

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Ridire de na Capall
TheChadillac
Ridire de na Capall
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Replied On: 02/21/2014 at 06:48 AM PST

Yes I too saw this video and it made me want to look into joining.  Love the values represented in this family.

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Laoch de na Iolair Buí
Sekkerhund
Laoch de na Iolair Buí
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Replied On: 02/21/2014 at 07:46 AM PST
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Actually, here's the impressive part:  Pookha is the leader of Harbingers of Light, a Tuatha guild.  We all respect the Gaiscioch Family's "family friendly" values, even the alliance guilds.

That said, GSCH does offer "adult sanctuaries" via designated channels in Raidcall (will be displayed as 18+).  In-game chat and general voice channels are all designated as family-friendly zones.

(disclaimer: I do not know if HoL is going to be active in TESO, or if Pookha will do like I did and officially join GSCH as a full-time member.  I have not seen HoL listed as a TESO Tuatha, so I assume the latter.)

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Ban Seaimpin de na Aracos Donn
Raighan
Ban Seaimpin de na Aracos Donn
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Replied On: 02/21/2014 at 08:11 AM PST
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Being British I am pretty thick skinned and not easily offended by 'adult' language and themes, but I really just find it very refreshing that we don't have it going on it guild and voice chat in Gaiscioch. 

What I liked in the video when Pookha mentioned the language was that he just said it quickly and carried right on with no attitude at all. I really hate it when I see/hear people correct others in a pompous manner, in fact that bothers me more than the language slip up in the first place.

 

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Ban Finsceal de na Iolair
Morigana
Ban Finsceal de na Iolair
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Replied On: 02/21/2014 at 01:59 PM PST

Whew - your powers of necromancy are strong Ezsme and very timely :)  (I know it is a sticky post - but there was almost two years between replies) 

We all need to be reminded that this is the true core of Gaiscioch - we are a family and as such have all ages within our ranks and need to remain always Family Friendly.  This doesn't just include language but conversations that are "adult" in nature.   It is tough for some as they are still too young to even have children - but once you do, you will realize if you don't want your child hearing it - then it isn't appropriate.  Everyone slips occasionally we just need to realize it and keep it nice.

 



» Edited on: 2014-02-21 14:01:35

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Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
Foghladha
Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
  • GW2: Foghladha.2506
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Replied On: 02/21/2014 at 02:10 PM PST
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The amazing part of that video is that those who we don't want with us are repulsed by the idea of us, those who we want with us are amazed by that video. There's such a divide in responses and the part I love is that all the right people are requesting to join and all the problem childs are not. 

I never though Respect would be so hard to find in gaming but that is truly a rare thing to find. Ask Don or Jessica, In real life I swear like a mad man, but when I step into game i put on my kid gloves because I can't stand the thought of me being the reason some kid learns a new word. As a father who's daughter learned the SH word first, I know just the horror of your child repeating that word over and over and over again anywhere you go. I'm not going to do that to someone else. Out of respect for them and the children that play with us I mind my language.

"It's not the loot and accolades you walk away with, it's the memories and friendships that you cherish forever." - Foghladha
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Fine
Lee
Fine
Replied On: 02/21/2014 at 04:55 PM PST

Been a Sailor 24 years and i agree no one can cuss like us.  I try very hard to keep my private life separate from public but if I slip up hope to be forgiven.

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Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
JaeOnasi
Ard Bantiarna de na Fhiaigh Bán
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Replied On: 02/22/2014 at 02:03 PM PST
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I'm in the medical field so believe me, I've heard it ALL and then some. I've probably said most of it, too. I like having a generally cuss-free zone, because it keeps me from slipping back into the raunchy language I used to use in school. If I hear it too often, I start falling back into my old habits, and I'm afraid of using the language unintentionally in front of patients! Thanks for keeping it clean.

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Ban Saighdiuir
Scorpeda
Ban Saighdiuir
Replied On: 02/26/2014 at 10:13 AM PST

I'm a new member. I am pleased with the policy re language. It takes the membership to another level. Cursing is appropriate in a lot of situations, it depends on the culture of the group or situation. This demonstrates the culture of Gaiscioch.

 

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Ban Ridire de na Iomproidh
Zammi
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Replied On: 02/26/2014 at 01:17 PM PST
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I just want to pipe up that a huge reason that I decided to join was because of the ESO PvP video.  I knew so little about Gaiscioch before, but when I watched and listened to the video I felt like my search had ended.   Not only were people asked to watch their language, but I even heard a woman speak up which meant Gaiscioch would be welcoming for ladies.  It was exactly the homey atmosphere I've been looking for in PvP that's so difficult to find.  

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Ban Saighdiuir de na Faolchu
Levya
Ban Saighdiuir de na Faolchu
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Replied On: 05/30/2014 at 09:04 AM PDT
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Hey there! I felt the need to read this topic because I accidently used a word in zonechat that wasnt family friendly and I really didnt know! I even thought that word was common, even for children. For that, I'm sorry. Vex's reply and Foghs statement "Americans historically are the most context sensitive people I've run across. No offense but we are." reminded me of a long debate I've had about tolerance and such. Although I swear and don't get upset easily by offensive language, I do have respect for this policy. But I would emphasize that it works from both ways. If I ever use inappropriate language without having any intention or knowledge of it being offensive, don't 'put me in a corner' or ignore me, but just politely ask me to watch my 'foreign insensitive tongue' ;)

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Tiarna de na Ulchabhan Dearg
Booie
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Replied On: 05/30/2014 at 09:40 AM PDT
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Many has to develop a new language when they join this family and for some it is bigger project than others.  Personally I have "would she approve filter" and by she I mean the lady in the picture below, but as a disclaimer I would like to say that my filter is still in alpha testing and bugs, that are out of my control of cause, might happen.

And there are PG18+ groups in RaidCall if you would like to speak less restricted. 

 

Holy smokes, this post is ~3 years old



» Edited on: 2014-05-30 09:42:16



» Edited on: 2014-05-30 13:30:01

"A delayed game is eventually good, a bad game is bad forever" - Shigeru Miyamoto
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Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
Foghladha
Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
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Replied On: 05/30/2014 at 09:57 AM PDT
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Necromancy is strong with this one :)

Pretty much we try to nudge people back on track. Keep them going in the right direction. It's not personal and nobody should be attacking you over it. It's just a reminder of the policy. The reason we have such great ties with developers and the press is because of the etiquette and class we bring the the MMO world. We're not the "traditional" vile player groups who spew ugliness all over their game worlds. We actually care for it, act with kindness and benevolence, and keep things mature and fun. Occasionally we need to remind people of it to keep us moving forward. Please don't take it personal it's a service reminder. All of us get it even me.  It's how we stay on track.

"It's not the loot and accolades you walk away with, it's the memories and friendships that you cherish forever." - Foghladha
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Tiarna de na Iolair Corcra
Jairone
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Replied On: 05/30/2014 at 10:28 AM PDT
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Indeed, the necro is strong here!

That said, please also keep an eye out when leading events for this kind of language from random server pickups.  It is a mature rated game, so people use foul language even more than normal in MMOs.

I know I asked one random pickup to please watch their language in one of our groups when they said something not quite nice, as we are family friendly, and they were happy to do so!  That is likely going to be the most common response, and a polite notice that we would prefer not to have the language used around us will keep our chat areas clear of the language without seeming unreasonable!

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Curadh de na Capall Donn
Priecher
Curadh de na Capall Donn
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Replied On: 05/30/2014 at 11:09 AM PDT
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My grandmother used to tell me that people who use cuss words have a poor vocabulary. I never realized how right she was until I stopped to listen to the people I was working with talking... I worked at a Police Department, there was LOTS of swearing. It was a challenge to break the habit of using all those words.... Some days I still drop a few bombs here and there but it is not like it once was. Like Fog, I didn't want my kids first words to be a bad one. My parents do not swear very often... I would not be around to type this if my kids said <bleep> before they said Momma...

I still chuckle when people jump in regular channel and drop a bomb though... I may not use them often but sometimes they sure are funny... especially after a good 10 minutes of silence in RC... c'mon you all have to admit it makes you smile...

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Morigana
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Replied On: 05/30/2014 at 03:00 PM PDT

I usually don't swear, but even though I have a pretty good grasp of the English language there are times that I deem an unusual word quite appropriate.

If someone breaks into my house - I am going to tell them in the sternest voice possible to get the out before I shoot them.

If I win the lottery there are going to be a few joyous expletives tossed around in the privacy of my own dwelling as I jump for joy.

Other than those circumstances I tend to keep my composure - I would not swear in front of my grandchildren and I don't swear in front of strangers (except for the guy that broke into my home).

In chat, whether guild, zone, or RC - it should just be a gentle reminder of "Watch your language - family friendly here".  It should be no more than that.  As others have already stated - it should not be taken personal since there have been many who slip - young and old alike.



» Edited on: 2014-05-30 15:02:12

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Sekkerhund
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Replied On: 05/30/2014 at 04:38 PM PDT
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Use of the word "please" is magical.  

Unfortunately, I've been seeing far too little usage of that word when addressing this issue, enough that I'm starting to become annoyed at the amount of aggressive "channel cop-" activity that I've witnessed.  I already know of a few players who have been turned off to GSCH (yes, folks tell me stuff, I don't know why...) because they made a language slip and were instantly jumped on by several other members who made them feel like crap for it.  Its like hawks circling a field mouse, sometimes.

Yes, on one hand, its a matter of sensitivity: We make a slip, we feel bad and if chastised, we feel worse.  On the other hand, its how the "reminder" is delivered and too often, of late, I've seen it not handled well.

I've been wanting to bring this up for a while, but I've been busy RL and I forget.

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Hex
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Replied On: 05/30/2014 at 08:15 PM PDT

I agree 100% with you Sekk.  I stopped using RC long ago because I did not like hearing random holier than thou people with nothing better to do who used the no swearing policy as a means of putting down other people.

If someone asks you to please mind your language because their kids are listening or whatever, that to me is perfectly reasonable and in line with our policy.  So I would comply, and probably apologise.

But if they talked down to me or tried to make out they were superior beings about it (which I have heard on numerous occasions) it used to make me want to bite back. Last time I checked my grandmother was alive and well in New Zealand, not a member of GSCH.  She is the only person other than my mum who is allowed to scold me like a little kid for bad language!!!

I am not saying the policy is wrong, far from it.  I just needed to agree with Sekk, because it was something that turned me off going into raidcall public channels.  It is all about HOW you ask, not WHAT you are asking!



@ Priecher: yes, it makes me smile.  I have a fantastic vocabulary, and two college degrees...but I do admit that the f bomb is in my top 10 fave words of all time list.  That is why I skulk in the R - Rated channels, or channels Fog made for me in the past, so that I do not inadvertently offend anyone or harm children in the process of raiding!!



» Edited on: 2014-05-30 20:21:37

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Aunvyrae
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Replied On: 05/30/2014 at 10:24 PM PDT
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I have to agree with Sekk and Hex. The language cop thing has even made me rethink even associating myself with this guild at times. It's way over board and the tolerance isn't even across the ranks. if you are a newer person or one of lesser rank you are chastised on the spot in a very not nice way. yet I've heard elders go on a tirade and get a "hey please stop, please watch your language". Almost in a nice and really forgiving way. The guild is a body, as a whole we accomplish goals, but the leaders set the example, and if that example is set one sided it puts a sour taste in everyone else mouth and they don't want to socialize or be affiliated with GSCH.

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Foghladha
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Replied On: 05/31/2014 at 01:59 AM PDT
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Guys, The language policy isn't new. We've had it since RIFT. In war when we weren't quite yet global we had it loosen up after 9 but since rift it's been 24 hours a day. When you joined the family you agreed to it in the registration form. There is no room for argument on this.

Now I will once again talk to the elders about how to approach this. You can blame it on hierarchy all you want but realize. In game you're all the same rank. We don't know what rank you are and there is no bias based on rank. I've been corrected too at times. 

Typically anytime I see someone slip up all i hear or see is "Language please". Thats it. I haven't seen anyone belittling or tearing someone down. If you have that happen to you screenshot it and send it to me and I'll talk to the person doing it to you. I asked the elders to give a friendly nudge in the right direction. That's their job. 

This whole thing is a simple matter of respect. I want people to feel safe playing in our community with their kids. I don't want to teach kids new words they're parents might have a rough time explaining. If you are under the illusion that this was not the case when you joined I'm sorry. This is a "Family Friendly" community and it will remain a family friendly community. Sorry if your disappointed but we are here to foster a certain type of community. A friendly, respectful, and classy community. 

 

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Hex
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Replied On: 05/31/2014 at 02:43 AM PDT

Nobody is questioning the policy at all :)

All the posts are pointing out is that the enforcers act with class, friendliness and respect , if someone says something by accident. 

*Edit: I have never once heard an Elder berate somebody for language, they have all been very nice and polite, yourself included.  I think perhaps we are talking about non elders here, at least in my experience.*

(The whole point of forums is to allow us to discuss things like this before they fester and cause problems.  Hopefully our opinions are valued, and help to iron out any misunderstandings quickly and easily. I am not expecting everyone to agree with me, just saying how I feel, for people to take or leave as they see fit.)



» Edited on: 2014-05-31 02:52:00

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Morigana
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Replied On: 05/31/2014 at 05:02 AM PDT

First off - Howdy Hex!

 

Second, I agree with Sekk - "Please" can do a whole lot to alleviate some tension but to go with that everyone needs to watch the tone of their voice when they speak.

You can either say "Please watch your language" with a Daedric priest voice and sound like you are going to rip off their skin and wear it...

Or say the same thing like I hear Jessica do - all lollipops and puppy dog tails. Which makes anyone go "Awwww shucks ma'am - I'm sorry".

So yes, "Please" with a polite tone is very much needed.

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Briseadh
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I know I have hollered before, but that was only after I tried to get people's attention a few times first.  And I usually only get to that extreme when I also have pm's coming at me over what is going on in chat.  It's always much easier in game chat since it is not voices overriding.  So yes I've yelled a few times on RC, but then explained why once I could actually get a word in.

I'm definitely not perfect.  I've had my own meltdowns - thankfully never in a public channel - but some elders and Fog have wound up hearing them.  So I'm not expecting anyone else to be perfect either.  However, if you are really upset about something or just need to vent (complain) please keep it to a channel where it is just you and a couple of people that will let you vent at them.  Once it is out of your system, go back to the public channels.  IE in RC go to a group room that is free.  In game make a group or if just two of you use whispers.

I think the biggest thing right now that people PM elders about lately is all the negative talk about how this is bad and that is bad.  There are some people who repeatedly harp on the same topic.  Please be aware we will not agree on what is good or bad, but most people don't feel like listening to or reading busy guild chat that is full of negativity.  Sure making a small comment is fine, but please don't turn it into a raging discussion about how bad a game is.  If you don't like the game, go play something else for awhile.  No one will be upset that you don't like the game, they do get upset when you seem to bash it every time you talk about it even if you are playing it.

I really hate having to worry about any of this.  Thankfully I honestly have not had to say things more than once in the past two weeks to get us back on a different track.  Though I know even last night another elder had to have a few private discussions during our dungeon runs about choice of words and discussions in guild chat.

Just remember we are all human and we all see things differently.  Different elders will come across a little different in the same type of situation just because of who they are.  I know I have a loud mouth so I sound downright ornerier than I am in RC at times because how my vocal tones are.  We are not here to slap you into submission even if sometimes we must make enough effort to resolve things it might feel like that to some.  We try to be general in public chat and then use private chat to talk directly with people about what is going on if need be.

This is the end of my rambling here.  Just know I'm willing to discuss any issue with anyone if they feel I slapped them too hard.  =)

Don't mess with Mama Bear, I might hug you too tight. =D
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Ekajata
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Replied On: 05/31/2014 at 07:13 AM PDT
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I have to admit, I generally avoid RC because when I'm in the thick of it, my "filters" are not active.

One of several reasons I joined the gamily (yes, gam-ily) is because I like the approach, the dedication, and the continuity/consistency of the credos.

Should someone see me not quite carrying the banner as I should, I welcome a /whisper or /tell reminding me. I am human; sometimes, I get distracted or forget.

THAT said, I likely will not respond well to a "reminder" that is any less cordial than the rule I am being reminded of... after all, it cuts both ways.

/read and agreed and supported

 

 

 

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Booie
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The most I ever write is 'language please' and even that gets some really really nasty replies at times, so Hex might think that are people that just sit around waiting for a chance to point fingers at others, but frankly it feels like that are people that are just waiting to spew crap at anyone who reminds others of a long standing guild policy.

There is a whole lot of butt hurt going on to something that is nothing but a friendly reminder and sometimes when I hear it being maybe less than the perfect way, it is in a crowed channel where it is impossible to break thru the chatter  and the recipient doesn't hear it until the third time someone tries.



» Edited on: 2014-05-31 09:45:48

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Foghladha
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This goes for everyone. If you feel someone is being too hard on you screen shot it and send it to me. I'll take care of it. I've never seen anyone be harsh so this is foreign to me. Just send me the ss to bfoley@gaiscioch.com and I'll deal with it.

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Twig
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I'm like Fog here. This discussion all seems  foreign to me too. I've seen/heard many a slip and I've seen/heard many a "language please" Then an "opps! Sorry!" and that has been the end of it.

I will say though, that the GSCH family has been the most mature acting friendly group I've ever had the privilege of being a part of.

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Booie
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Replied On: 06/01/2014 at 05:48 PM PDT
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The life behind guild chat in private tells are not always pg and those people normally don't stick around for long anyway.

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Bentmer
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Replied On: 06/02/2014 at 10:33 AM PDT

I've seen it both ways before.  Like Hex said, there have been times when language/context of a guild channel message and/or voice comm has sparked an inquisition-like tirade that probably was a little overzealous.  I've also seen what Booie mentioned where some have reacted overly defensive to a slight reminder of public channel policies.  Admittedly, it was far more prevalent during the height of the Rift days then what I notice now happening though.

The PG rule has been in place for awhile, but when dealing with it's enforcement, we should remember a rule that has been in far far longer.  Blades out, not in.  We're all here to have fun and some people use more colorful language when they're having fun.  The same applies if someone asks you to correct language/behavior in a public channel. 

One of the greatest qualities about this guild which has largely stayed intact despite the huge growth over the years is that we have very few restrictions in place.  You can mostly do whatever you feel like and there is little pressure to do what others want of you.  But part of the freedom to do as you wish also means you have a responsibility to not negatively impact other people's enjoyment of the game. 

I've enjoyed many an expletive from Hex when someone stood too close to her in Murdantix and caused her to die from purple poo on the ground *coughCossackcough*  In progression raid environments, I think swearing is a form of release from the pressure and grind.  But there's a time and place for it and I think we all mostly understand this.  Sometimes we just need a little reminder of it.  But nobody is trying to intentionally ruin someone else's fun.  We need to remember that too.

P.S.  One of the great things about the internet and MMO's is that we attract people from all over the world and different backgrounds.  Listening to people swear in different accents, languages, pitches, etc during a wipe or a first time boss kill is one of the funniest and most enjoyable parts of playing MMO's in my opinion.

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Sekkerhund
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Replied On: 06/02/2014 at 10:49 AM PDT
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Well, if some of you are claiming to have not seen any of this behavior, then you either have not been playing as often as you think, or you don't pay much attention to guild chat when you do play.  I'm sorry if that's blunt, but it should be evident that there is an issue, just based on the others who have posted that they've noticed there's a problem, too.  Heck, I haven't even been in RC, so that's the other half of communications that I'm not even aware of, and there are folks saying there is a "channel cop" problem there too.

Its not a problem with the policy, I never said it was.  

Its a problem with members being mean to other members.  Some of it is just sociopathic/self-rightousness/call-it-whatever, some of it is members who want to be an Elder by proving they have leadership skills (yea, they don't understand Elders and are badly misguided) so they attempt to flex that muscle.

Added to this, there's often some rather heated arguments that lead to insulting each other, sometimes subtle, sometimes not-so-much; I've seen that happen too often for my tastes.  Its something that I can't actually recall seeing in Guildwars 2 guild chat very often, if ever at all.  Maybe its something with this game (rated MA) and the type of player that it attracts, I don't know.

Now.... screenshots:  I will and I have in the past, but I am not going to unless it is something severely extreme.  That means that most of what I, and others, have spoken of here, is not something that we'd go snapping screenies and tattle about.  I'm just not comfortable with it, it seems almost hypocritical to me.

So all in all, folks can either choose to believe me (and the others), or choose not to.  Regardless, it is a problem and folks have now been made aware of it.  So agree or not, do with that information as you will.

 

 

edit: example: just the other day, someone dropped an f-bomb in guild chat, and someone typed out "you better watch your language, I am not going to tell you again".  I backscrolled to see what the deal was, but I saw nothing in my chat history that indicated that there had been previous slips and/or a "warning".  

I'd like to say that the comment was from one of the RIFT elders, but tbh, I'm not sure.  I forgot to check the Roster (I usually do that a lot) but it really doesn't matter, because regardless of who it was, they totally mishandled that:  They should have sent a /tell if it was a repeated warning, and never typed that kind of verbal spanking, publicly into guild chat.



» Edited on: 2014-06-02 11:07:47

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Booie
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I'm so glad that the elder ship has gone and left me behind.  

I agree with your assessment Sekk, not that you need my validation, but I think that the reason why the tension is so high in ESO, is because of all the frustrations with bugs, bots, lag and so on, heck I can't even play the game.  I can log in, but better not do anything, so I don't log in.

Back in the day, didn't we private message people instead of "shaming" them in guild chat and that was the standard told to everyone.  That seemed to work so much better, sure you would have the occasional nasty reply, but it would blow over fast.

 

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Foghladha
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Way to suggest the needle in the haystack sek. I have nothing to go on at all. 1300+ people it could be and no idea of what was said when. 

You can blame others all you want but if your not willing to help prevent the situation and want to just sit back and complain about the problem, you help the problem grow. All I'm asking for is something to go on. If someone's belittling another I need to know about it. I can't stop it if I don't know what happened and who it involved. We have survived and thrived this long because people have shared this info with me. Communication is essential and I'm sorry sekk. I can't play all day everyday. I can't possibly be on 24/7 in 2 different games. I need help, just as I've always needed help.

Furthermore read your credos. They state that you will report problems like this so that we can deal with them. It's up to all of us to ensure the Gaiscioch Way is practiced and we continue to move forward as a community. There's no room for people belittling one another for any reason.

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Twig
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I KNOW how often I play! And I do watch guild chat when I do play. I was not denying there may be a problem I was just stating that I have not seen it. I do not play ESO so I can not speak for what goes on there. I play GW2 and I see what I see and I haven't seen what is being complained about here. Just sayin!

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Cariance
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The only time the language policy or policing bothered me was when someone referred to themselves as an "intelligent donkey" and was told to watch their language. Some people, including myself, objected to it being characterized as anything more than a slight pejorative. Then (presumably) Elders, or maybe just old-timers, piled on stating that it's the policy and you can comply or leave. I feel silly even having to use code for that phrase, but my point is that people have their own shades of grey. To some the second word alluded to above is a cuss word and not to be uttered. In my opinion, it's a phrase that has a meaning independent of it's parts; having nothing to do with donkeys or posteriors.

Am I in the minority opinion that a phrase like that shouldn't warrant a warning and certainly not comments about removing yourself from the guild if you don't like it?

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Booie
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Without the whole conversation, it can be hard to make any judgement.  So screenshot it and if you run chat log, then package everything up to Ben with a little summery about what it is about and he will take care of it.

Officers credo:

Mark of the Protector

Your hard work and devotion to the family have allowed you to meet the requirements for the mark of the officer. The life of an officer becomes one of watching, reporting, and assisting. You become a protector of our family, a guardian to our ways, and a source of information for the younger members of the family. You will be the front lines of the family and hear all, see all, and experience all.

Being an officer does not mean that you get to boss people around, tell them how to play, or be some kind of vigilant enforcer. It means that if you see something out of place you will notify the elders of this. You document what you see and hear through screenshots, chatlogs, and collecting information that will help resolve the issue. Your role in the family will be one of support. For newer members learning our ways, to providing front line assessment for the elders. You will protect the Gaiscioch way of life and see to it that all members feel welcome, included and help guide people through challenges they face.

This position is one of service and while before this rank you were free of responsibilities and expectations, taking this position will be your signifying that your willing to sacrifice some of your playtime to help make the family run smoother. To help others where reward is not a motive, and to live by our beliefs and lead by example.

By accepting this credo you will be welcomed into the officer ranks. If you do not wish to take this step or do not feel you are ready for this step please feel free not to accept this credo yet. Being an officer is not for everyone and we want you to enjoy your time here. This is not a required step in the Gaiscioch life and we welcome you to continue to grow within the family even if you don't take this step forward.

@Ben,

Is the credo's available for all to read, else that might be a good idea.  



» Edited on: 2014-06-02 15:45:52

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Foghladha
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Booie
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Thank you.   What about the text I posted, the description? 

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Sekkerhund
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Alright, alright.  I hate it when you're right.  /grumble

I'll give you a name in a bit (privately).  I remember who it was, I just need to find the correct @'s and make sure that I have my ducks in a row.  But FYI, I was just giving an example of some of the stuff that I witness, it wasn't meant to be a 'report'.

Of note, I misquoted above, it was "...and I won't say it again." and I actually did take a SS at the time, but I deleted it because I mentally heard my mother chastising me and my sister for tattling on each other when we were little, which made me feel ridiculous about it.  The whole deal is ridiculous, I shouldn't even be having to say anything, because these people are supposed to be adults (well... yea.)

My intention with this, is that I want to see members treating other members better in our ESO chat channels.  They should not have to be told, they should not have to be reminded and every member should be involved in helping keep guild communications comfortable and everyone-friendly.

Family-friendly means a lot more than censoring language.

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Ard Tiarna de na Iomproidh Dearg
Bentmer
Ard Tiarna de na Iomproidh Dearg
  • ESO: @bentmer
Replied On: 06/02/2014 at 06:54 PM PDT

Wait, I thought being called an intelligent donkey was a compliment? lol.

Ok, before we pull out the pitchforks and torches, let's get a little perspective please.  We are a guild of thousands of people who have a lot of disparate interests and beliefs.  It is only natural that occasionally we will have conflicts and disagreements.  It is impossible to get along with everybody at all times. 

I'm not condoning anybody's behavior here.  What I am saying is that we have to show support and tolerance to everybody.  People make mistakes, you know like swearing in a public channel.  But we shouldn't ostracize them for it.  Others make mistakes too, like perhaps being overly aggressive in trying to correct someone's language.  We shouldn't give them up as a lost cause either. 

Everyone has a bad hair day.  I think the intent of this topic was to not let people feel uncomfortable in chat or raidcall.  Well let's not get to the point that we're parsing every word to make sure we don't sound too condescending either.  If we are to act like a real family, then we have to accept that we'll occasionally piss each other off.  A real family forgives and moves on.  A real family gives the benefit of the doubt to each other.

Now there will be some who will not or cannot change to our beliefs.  Believe me, I have talked privately with some people as patiently as possible and could not get through to them.  That's where Fog and the other elders have to make the unenviable decision to cut them loose.  That's why they make the big bucks you know.  Wait, they're not getting paid? lol.

I'm a huge fan of trying to talk to the person in private tells.  That way you can get their side of the story without it playing out in public.  Before you condemn someone though, please try to talk it out with them and give them a chance to explain themselves. 

But seriously, which member of the equus genus can I be called an intelligent member of?  I guess I better shelve that Breton DK called 'Sir IntelligentDonkey' now.

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Caomhnoir de na Iomproidh Buí
Tide
Caomhnoir de na Iomproidh Buí
  • GW2: Tideturner.1032
Replied On: 06/03/2014 at 05:13 AM PDT

I believe everyone reading this thread have seen their fair share of instances when people doesn’t keep the chat family friendly.

Keeping an open mind

Different people sees the same thing differently due to many factors such as culture, believes, past-experiences, the list goes on. Being such a big group of international family, our members are really diversified, therefore one of our line of defense is probably to keep an open mind when people says stuff that *Might* sound offending (minus off those words that are obviously rude across all nations). Of course, this should also NOT be the reason or justification that a person go all “tommy gun” on offensive terms – we wouldn’t want our younglings to learn new questionable vocabularies, especially through our family’s communication channels.

Quoting Fog in one of the Club Gaiscioch Nights: “Guys, keep it PG, it’s not that hard”.

Tackling offenders

Different people deal with this differently. For me, when people start saying offensive or non-family friendly stuff in guild/group chat during family events, for the first time I will usually keep quiet unless it is downright offensive, I also believe that the elders are the only ones that are empowered to give out warnings. If the situation continues, and no one says anything, then I’ll do a “Language please people” and normally things will end there - of course if the situation intensify and no elder are present, I’m always prepared to do a screenie and bring it up.

In my humble opinion, we who have been in Gaiscioch long enough should be supporting the elders, but not enforcing stuff that elders who are empowered to do so.

Private Msg

It is a good way to communicate to the offender, but it might be a double edged sword. Personally I’ll do it only if I know the person, or have chatted with the person enough times to “know” he/she is a family member.

Why? Because imagine you are in a heated argument, and out of nowhere 4-5 strangers who you don’t know messages you and says “Mind your language”. This is just my opinion, but, I think it is best to let the elders online handle on the means to “engage” the “mob”.

Credos

I think this is one of the most important thing in our family. Without it, many of us will lose our direction as time pass. Personally I have re-read it a few times. Even at the beginning when I first joined Gaiscioch with my S/O, even though I was the one helping her to fill up registrations and help her claim participations on events that she had participated in, I had her read the Credo and she was the one who clicked the agree button. Because to me it is not just a “terms and agreement wall of text” that we so often see in our daily lives now, it is a binding agreement we have between our inner selves and the family, a guide on how we should act at the bare minimum as a member of Gaiscioch, with our sword out, not in.

Re-linking the Gaiscioch Credo link: http://www.gaiscioch.com/about/credos.html

Family Friendly

Yes it means a lot more than censoring languages, but censoring languages is definitely the bare minimum that need to be done. We have the enforcers (elders), we have the people who knows what is or what isn’t family friendly on 24/7 out there (the rest of us who isn’t elders), hence it is more of a culture that need to be built rather than something that need to be enforced. Keep it simple, support the elders, don’t treb, ballista, catapult down the offenders with fire/meatbags/lightnings, guide the ones who doesn’t know how the Gaiscioch family roll, let them SEE instead of tell them what and what not to do. Be the example that you want to see.

 

 

Just sharing my two cents. Cheers all.

 

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Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
Foghladha
Taoiseach de na Arach Glas
  • GW2: Foghladha.2506
  • ESO: @Foley
Replied On: 06/03/2014 at 09:45 AM PDT
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Private Msg

It is a good way to communicate to the offender, but it might be a double edged sword. Personally I’ll do it only if I know the person, or have chatted with the person enough times to “know” he/she is a family member.

Why? Because imagine you are in a heated argument, and out of nowhere 4-5 strangers who you don’t know messages you and says “Mind your language”. This is just my opinion, but, I think it is best to let the elders online handle on the means to “engage” the “mob”.

This is exactly it. If we just tell everyone to send a PM about it that person gets barraged with 50 tells to keep it clean. I have instructed elders to put out a friendly reminder to keep it clean usually in the form of "Language Please" or "Keep it family friendly please". This lets the other elders, officers, and others know that the issue has been addressed and no further action is needed. 

Additionally. We used to PM people, but that lead to our elders ending up on people's ignore list. Which doesn't help us run the family at all.

There is a happy medium here and no Elder, Officer, or any other member should Attack someone else. I simple friendly reminder can get everyone back on track. Be respectful people. It's not that hard. 

The general guide is that if you can't say it on Radio or Television it's generally something you want to avoid. The main thing I've instructed my elders to go after are the big obvious ones, anything sexually explicit or slang relating to it, anything slanderous, or anything hateful or smiteful directed at another person, race, gender, or orientation.

Words like Damn and Crap are not words we should concern ourselves with. We are after the ones that the FCC could Fine us if we broadcast them. 

Generally be respectful to all people. Don't insult people. and remember the golden rule Blades Out, Not In. Bottom line goal is to keep the peace. This should not be such hard a hard task and such a heated argument. Can't we all agree that EVERYONE should be respectful to each other? Elders and Members alike. NOBODY is immune to this. I once kicked an elder for going overboard, I'm not afraid to do it again. My Elders and Officers are held on a higher standard than the rest of the general population. They have agreed to a much more censored and public facing lifestyle and should not under any circumstance violate that agreement. If they do I need to know about it so I can take appropriate action.

Together we can keep everyone in line and moving forward. I do not want to let our family become barrens chat or something parents don't feel safe bringing their kids into. I want us to be fun, welcoming, polite, and respectful. A community that proves you don't have to be vile to succeed in MMO's. That's who we are and it's not going to change. All of you need to come to terms with that.

If you can't abide by it then this might not be the place for you. Remember your happiness is the most important loot in your day. If you're not finding it here you need to go find it. I'm not saying that to be snide or crude or sarcastic. It's an honest statement. The guild tag above your head should never get in the way of whats on your face. A smile gives you life and years of happiness and should not be sacrificed for anything. Don't force yourself to be miserable. Be happy, so that those around you can enjoy their time with you. I love all you guys and want you to be happy. It saddens me to see so many people bent out of shape over this. We'll work through it and figure it out. I just need a better visual of where it's coming from. I'll address it with the elders next meeting as well.



» Edited on: 2014-06-03 09:52:37

"It's not the loot and accolades you walk away with, it's the memories and friendships that you cherish forever." - Foghladha
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Lorgaire de na Faolchu
Kizani
Lorgaire de na Faolchu
  • ESO: @Issus
Replied On: 06/21/2014 at 09:21 PM PDT

Read and understood. :)

I have to say though, if I slip up and were treated the way that was stated above? I'd probably lose it on that person. The very worst thing someone can do to me is belittle me or treat me like I'm in kindergarten. I cannot stand it and will not stand for it.

I love this guild, and because I have so much respect for it, I don't join RC and I don't talk in GC because I know I'll slip up, and having to restrain myself is no fun, so I just don't bother. To each their own!

And yes, can you tell I have no kids? LOL

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